Closer To The Edge

My dearest Kristi,

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I am going to Washington, D.C.

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This entire situation is weapon-grade stupid, a cosmic joke so deranged that if you pitched it as satire in 2010, HBO would’ve rejected it for being “too unrealistic and not tonally grounded.” We are talking about the Pentagon — the most expensive military bureaucracy in the history of our pathetic little species — an institution that eats

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There is a smell in the air of this country—an acrid, chemical stench that seeps into the lungs and lingers in the bloodstream like a curse.

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DROPKICK MURPHYS ARE COMING TO WASHINGTON, D.C. ON 11/22.

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There’s a certain strain of modern “patriot” in America who truly believes the Founding Fathers fought and died so that one day, a 58-year-old woman could LARP as Paul Revere while assaulting strangers in a parking lot over a flag she doesn’t even understand.

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America has officially entered the part of the movie where the audience starts yelling, “Don’t open that door!” — and the government opens it anyway.

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Millions roared the only two words a wannabe monarch deserves to hear: NO KINGS. And instead of answering a nation in the streets, Donald Trump slithered onto Truth Social and posted an AI video of himself in a fighter jet labeled “KING TRUMP,” dumping brown sludge onto American citizens.

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The frog uprising didn’t start as a movement; it started as a dare.

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How Frogs, Dinosaurs, and Unicorns Broke the President’s Brain

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Venezuela has the largest proven oil reserves on Earth — roughly 300 billion barrels, more than Saudi Arabia, Iran, or Russia.

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At Closer to the Edge, we oppose violence, but that doesn’t mean we don’t scare the crap out of certain people on a daily basis.

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